Rogue Missions
Talkademy Rogue Missions are group courses which have been specially developed and designed to fill those gaps in your knowledge of German that aren’t covered by standard German courses. From the art of swearing properly, to the technique of conducting entire conversations through humming and monosyllabic words, to the customs and vocabulary of the German ‘substitute religion’ that is football, right through to the countless idioms and proverbs that are part of everyday German life and much more – Talkademy Rogue Missions bridge the gap between ‘formal’ German and the language spoken on the streets of Germany every day.
Rogue Missions are suitable for the proficiency levels indicated next to each Mission title.
Rogue Missions are time-limited offers and are subject to change.
A Damn Detailed Introduction to German Curses, Insults and Swearwords
How Germans swear, what all those strange words actually mean, the best way to respond in each case, and which ones can even cost you an arm and a leg.
A detailed exploration of the wonderfully uncompromising world of German insults – from simple taunts hurled in passing to vividly descriptive neologisms that provide the perfect insult for even the most outlandish of situations, this Mission is a helluva handful.
At the end of this Mission you will
- know the common German insults and swear words
- know how to pronounce and intonate these insults
- be able to distinguish between a serious insult and a light-hearted banter (although the words remain the same)
- know how to give as good as you get
- have a wide repertoire of favourite German swear words
- know the differences between dumm, doof’ and blöd’
- be familiar with all sorts of abstruse yet commonplace neologisms, from Toilettentiefseetaucher (toilet-deep-sea-diver) to Turnbeutelvergesser (gym-bag-forgetter)
- have learned to distinguish between 'showing the bird' (up to 1,000 Euro fine) and 'flipping the bird' (up to 4,000 Euro fine)
- have found out why addressing a German police officer informally with ‘Du’ could land you a night in prison
- have learnt all about the Germans’ favourite profanity, which was once coined by Götz von Berlichingen
- have understood why certain words and gestures have been taboo in Germany since 1945
- have cleared up many, though perhaps not all, of your uncertainties by the time you next find yourself in a bit of banter with your German friends or colleagues
... and much, much more!
Seemingly Senseless German Sounds of Significance
How Germans carry on epic conversations just by grunting, humming, and giving one-word answers - and how you can confidently join in.
Anyone who has ever stood next to a few German friends or colleagues and witnessed how Germans have had a great time chatting to one another over an entire coffee break using nothing but strange sounds and one-word replies, will know that out there there exists something like a ‘secret' level of the German language which nobody had told you about beforehand.
This Mission will unravel the mystery surrounding many of these one- and two-syllable sounds and words, enabling you not only to understand the ‘secret code' of the Germans, but also to become fluent in it yourself.
At the end of this Mission you will
- know how Germans express agreement, disgust, negation, joy, and other emotions wordlessly with specific sounds
- have learned the most common one-word expressions in a typical German conversation
- be able to distinguish between the very different meanings of words like "bitte" depending on micropauses and intonation
- know what sort of monosyllabic greeting you can use when and with whom
- be able to identify the meaning and importance of micropauses between syllables and words - or their absence
- have learned what "Tja", "Also", "'ne", "äh-äh" and other common expressions really mean
- have gathered all the means and know-how to participate in conversations conducted in ‘secret’ German
Fußball - The Other 'Religion' in Germany
Learn everything you need to know to survive in a country that’s mad about football. From the offside rule to the clubs and their quirks, right through to how to behave when attending a match at the stadium, and all the information you need to ensure you’re not caught offside during an inevitable conversation about the German number one small-talk topic.
There are round about 24,300 football clubs with circa 30,000 registered teams in Germany, with a total of over 7 million club-members or almost 8% of the entire German population. Incidentally, these numbers make the Deutsche Fußball Bund (DFB – German football association) also the largest professional sports association of any kind in the world.
And every two years, during World and European Championships, more than 50% of all Germans suddenly turn into 'national team coaches' and talk about almost nothing else during tthe games and in the weeks that follow. In other words, it genuinely isn’t an exaggeration when you call Fußball the “other religion” in Germany.
So, if you want to be part of the conversation when your German colleagues chat about the weekend’s Bundesliga matches in the staff kitchen or over lunch on Monday – and don’t just want to sit there silently – or when your neighbour asks you if you've watched the game of the home team yesterday, or when, over dinner with friends, the conversation inevitably turns to Saturday’s dramatic match, then you should know at least the key facts, stats and stories about German football.
At the end of this mission you will
- have larned the rules of the game, including the Abseitsregel (offside rule) - (if you didn''t know already)
- have become familiar with the names, backgrounds, nicknames and noteworthy features of the 18 football clubs in the 1st Bundesliga (premier federal league)
- know all about the rivalries, hostilities, friendships and frenemies of the 36 clubs in the 1st and 2nd Bundesliga
- have learned how to conduct yourself when visiting a game in a stadium, starting with a pre-match drink in a pub, during the tram or bus journey to the stadium, during the match, at half-time, and after the match
- have learned the names of the most prominent German football players in the past and present
- know all about the history, important victories and defeats of the German national team (die Mannschaft), as well as about the most important games in the Nationalmannschaft's annals
- have internalised the do's and don't's in a conversation about Fußball and how to navigate such conversations safely and confidently
- be prepared for all eventualities in a nation that is crazy about "the beautiful game"
The 10 Different Ways to Use 'Doch' & Other Confusing German Words
If you haven’t heard of the little German word ‘doch’ yet, then it’s high time you did. And if you already know that ‘doch’ can have ten very different meanings, then you might want to brush up on your knowledge about the miscellany of other unruly German words.
After all, alongside the undisputed champion of confusing German words - which can appear already all on its own as a modal particle, conjunction or adverb, there are a few runners-up, such as ‘wohl’, ‘gerne’ or ‘gerade’ – to name just a few that you come across every day in Germany.
In this Mission, you’ll learn all about words that change their meaning as quickly as Formula 1 drivers change their tyres, which intonation is right in each situation, and a few insider tips that even many Germans don’t know about their own vocabulary.
At the end of this Mission you will
- be able to identify and distinguish the 10 different meanings of "doch"
- will know why and where to use words like "wohl", "ja", "was", "gerade", "sondern", "immer" and other seemingly familiar terms with 'hidden' further meanings
- know how to naturally phrase certain German sentence-types, like e.g. questions, demands, apologies or polite requests, innit?
- be able to understand Germans when their speech is apparently peppered with "illogical filler words" that used to throw you off track while listening to Germans talk
- be ready to speak German more naturally and fluently
"Playing the Insulted Liver Sausage" & Other German Proverbs and Idioms for Everyday Speech
Sometimes it seems as though Germans communicate with one another half the time using nothing but proverbs and idioms. And as if that weren’t confusing enough, these extravagant figures of speech are so abstruse that words you thought you knew suddenly take on entirely new meanings.
Why is your colleague saying he suddenly owns a tomcat when he just drank too much beer last night? Why does your boss seem to have drowned the entire new delivery of goods in butter? And why on earth does your friend tell you to add another tooth every time you’re driving?
On this mission, you’ll not only find out what the most common German idioms mean, but also when and how to use them correctly. That way, next time you won’t be left wondering where the bear is that someone apparently has tied to your back.
At the end of this Mission you will
- have learned the most common German sayings and idioms
- know which expressions are appropriate in which situations
- not be confused any more when you hear words that you think you know, but which suddenly appear in a sentence that seems to make absolutely no sense
- have become familiar with the origins of some of the most commonplace idioms which are thus brought vividly to life
- be able to understand and follow German conversations easier and more confidently
"One-and-Twenty" - Everything You Need to Know about Numbers, Prices, Dates, Time & More
It’s a well known fact that Germans have a rather peculiar way of counting. But did you know that they also have two ways of telling the time? Or that you actually have to decline a date in order to express it correctly? Or that a German Billion is 1,000 times larger than an English billion?
During this Mission, you’ll not only learn how to count correctly in German, but also how to use the different ways of stating dates flawlessly, how to express prices and tell times appropriately depending on the situation, and how to stop floor numbers from flooring you.
At the end of this Mission you will
- be able to count effortlessly in German from one to one trillion (or: eine Billion)
- know the difference between formal and informal time and how and when to use each
- be familiar with the way Germans talk prices
- be familiar with the key mathematical terms in German
- be able to identify the correct date-format and to use each declined form correctly
- know your way around the declension of floor-numbers
- feel more secure and confident in German everyday situations whenever you need to count on your grasp of German numbers
A Stroll through German History & Modern German Culture
A country’s language and history are inextricably linked – and both shape its culture, from the grandest scale right down to the bar counter of a German countryside inn at half past two in the morning. Find out more about the origins of the German language and culture - from the Germanic tribes and the Romans right through to the infamous ‘German Stare’.
Did you know for instance that Germany in its present form only exists since 1990? Or that a brilliant strategist and traitor permanently thwarted the Roman conquest of the Germanic tribes east of the Rhine within three days in a dense German forest – and that is why the Germans still speak German today?
Or did you know that making friends in Germany isn’t actually as difficult as people always say – if you know how? Or that the infamous ‘German stare’ has nothing to do with rudeness or a silent challenge?
Well, on this Mission you’ll discover these and many more facts and stories about the German language, history and culture – and afterwards you’ll see the language you’re learning in a whole new light.
At the end of this Mission you will
- recognise the connections between historical events and their influence on the German language
- have gained an overview of the history of the German people, spanning over 2,000 years - from their innocent youth in the dense Germanic forests through to the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation to the darkest twelve years in the nation's history all the way to the modern "engine room" of the European Union
- know what an impact Johann Gutenberg, Martin Luther, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the medieval royal chanceries, a child of the Thirty Years’ War and a 19th century railway engineer had on the German language
- have discovered which dialects are spoken where in Germany, how to recognise them and why learning some German dialects is like learning a completely new language
- see the German language with more depth, understanding and an insider knowledge that even many Germans don't possess
Finally Clarity on German Grammar - Fill in Gaps and Gain Genuine Understanding
Under relentless ‘torture’ of coffee withdrawal, many language learners admit that they’ve only really understood less than half of German grammar. And if you and your squad can relate to that, then this Mission might just be the right thing for you.
This Mission will bring order to your grammatical confusion and explain not only the ‘what’ but also the ‘how’ and ‘why’ in a simple, vivid and memorable way in English, tailored to your specific gaps, confusions, and open questions.
However, the only prerequisite for a successful Mission is that you organise and write down your questions before the Mission, so that we can get straight down to clarifying them without wasting any time.
At the end of this mission you will
- have finally understood the four German grammatical cases and know not only how but also when and why to use them
- have a pretty good idea how the German "spoken past" (Perfekt) and the German "written past" (Präterirum) work
- have an inkling of the correct use of the three grammatical genders
- be in the know about the unique German sentence structure and its amazing flexibility
- finally have – if all goes well – received clear and precise answers to all your previously unanswered questions about the German grammar
(S)Train Your Vocal Chords & Perfect Your German Pronunciation
Have you ever noticed that Germans often sound as if they're a cat trying to cough up a hairball, or like a snake that's had its tail stepped on? Well, what sounds like a petting zoo with wild animals is actually just the correct pronunciation in German.
Yes, German can sound harsh and unyielding like a snarling dragon. But it can also flow gently like a babbling brook through an enchanted forest.
The good news is that you and your squad have everything you need to articulate even the most unusual sounds of the German language perfectly. Lips, tongue, palate and vocal cords – that’s all you need.
In this Mission, you’ll learn how to produce the various German sounds correctly, why correct pronunciation can sometimes be "a matter of life and death", and that the real secret of German pronunciation lies hidden in plain sight between the syllables.
At the end of this Mission you will
- be able to produce the hard "CH"- and the soft "CH"-sound flawlessly and know which one is which in written texts
- know how to pronounce "Volkswagen" correctly, as well as many other German words you might have enunciated wrongly until now
- know why you probably mispronounce "Psychologie", "Theater", and "Stein" and how you can easily fix that
- have developed an ear for the German Umlaute Ä, Ö, and Ü, and know how to pronounce them distinctly different from the vowels A, O, and U
- have internalised the guiding principle: 'The shorter the word, the longer the vowel'
- know the rule governing the pronunciation of words containing an "ss" or an "ß"
- have uncovered the secret to correct German pronunciation, which has been staring you right in the face the whole time
- sound far more natural and fluent in German
The Secrets of the German Language
The German language has accumulated a wealth of secrets over its long history. In this special Mission, the most important of them are revealed exclusively to you and your squad.
If you’ve ever wondered what principle underlies the German language – in other words, why German is the way it is, rather than being as grammatically streamlined as English or as melodious as Italian – then this Mission will provide you with the answer both to this and to other vexing questions about the unique characteristics of the German language.
From those infamous compound word monstrosities, to the background to the so-called gender asterisk and why neo-pronouns aren’t a thing in Germany, right through to the underlying rules that separable verbs must follow and the cat that suddenly hovers above the table – this Mission will leave you speechless before you’ll be speaking German better than ever before.
At the end of this Mission you will
- have understood the fundamental "laws" governing German grammar and syntax
- know how to easily dissect even the longest compound nouns and how to create your own just as easily
- be familiar with the most common German abbreviations, from A like Abk. or ARD to Z like z.Z. or ZDF
- have learned why there are seperable verbs in German in the first place and how to wrangle them into submission every time
- know how most of German humour works and why the rumour about Germans having no sense of humour remains so persistent
- know why a "Schmetterlingsbär" (butterfly bear) is just as commonplace in German as a "Fußbodenschleifmaschinenverleih" (floor-sanding machine rental service) is
- have discovered that the German language is a gigantic sponge that soaks up everything from other languages that isn’t up a tree by the count of three
- have found out why the politest way to request something is the command form (Imperativ)
- have gained genuine insider knowledge and with it a completely new perspective on the German language
... and so much more!
